On Happiness

One of the goals of my hike was to set myself up for phenomenological exploration of happiness. When I immerse myself in hardship and take away my everyday habits and stimulations, what are the things which consistently make me happy? What keeps the dream alive?

My reflections on need turned out to be an important step in discovering a source of happiness. In the process of meeting as many new people as I could manage, I got to feel out the subtleties of new interpersonal relationships.

I came to realize that I could rely on something I'd felt, but never fully explored: empathy. It makes me happy when other people are happy. I found that I had intuitively sought the company of people who I could make laugh or smile easily, and who could get the same reaction out of me. In this way we create a positive feedback loop of happiness. We resonate.

On the other side of the coin, sensitivity to others makes it more obvious to me when I act out of insecurity.

As I enumerate other memorable activities of happiness I've felt along the way, they're all better with people, if not requiring them. Learning and teaching are better with personal connection. Problem solving is better with cooperation. Natural beauty is best when shared. Kindness and gratitude must be social. The only thing as rewarding as personal growth is seeing it in others.

When I'm alone I get to coalesce ideas for my writing, but beyond that window of productivity it's mostly coping. I laugh off my struggles, sing to myself, or distract myself with nature to get out of my own head. This is sustainable, but more like surviving than thriving.

I started asking the people around me how many days of their hike were memorable: given the name of a place you slept, can you name something that happened that day, or someone else who was there at camp? Can you picture something from that day? I feel like I could remember most of my days on the trail in this way, because I have been traveling with friends almost every day. When I found myself alone, I made new friends. When I had enough friends, they became tramily in North Carolina.

This is the most social I've been in my life, and it never would have happened otherwise.

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.
-Robert A. Heinlein