High as a Kite on Life

My solo SOBO completion tour continues. I write from Port Clinton, PA, where St. John's has a hiker pavilion down the street from the trail. The local pizza shop delivered a couple of sandwiches, and now I sleep under a roof on a rainy night.

Some of my friends are still on their way north. Evening Snack returned from Finland in late August, rejoining Wise, Dying, Stinky and Hemlock through the Whites and to the end. They are now in the home stretch and I hope to see their Katahdin pictures soon.

I came to realize that, while traveling north with friends, I was high as a kite on life the entire time. While hiking I was on exercise endorphins, and while at camp I was on laughter endorphins. My experience of happiness was dialed in from pretty early on.

So it wasn't much surprise when, upon touching the old wooden sign on the summit of Mount Katahdin, I didn't really feel much at all. I was already up on the plateau of the journey. Nothing, not even the rationalization that it would soon be ending, could break the high. Even after rushed goodbyes at the train station, I knew that friendship would live on, it would just be further away.

Now, as I soldier on alone over the rocky trail of Pennsylvania, there is endorphin scarcity. I hike less miles per day and spend more time in towns sleeping under roofs and eating until I'm full. I feel fatigued and frustrated by little challenges because I don't have my hiking partners to commiserate with. I barely spend any time planning logistics or beyond the next hiking day.

I'm still getting a lot out of it, and this is still a better place to be than not hiking. One of my hiking partners had an unexpected life turn immediately on arriving home, putting them in the fast lane to post-trail depression. As a result, I've been writing songs and recording them as best I can on my phone to keep company. Even post-trail, other hikers are a top line of support.

The trail experience is different traveling south in more or less the off season. During the week there are sparse section hikers along the way. On the weekends there are day hikers all over the place. I've never appreciated weekend hikers asking about the story of my thru hike more than I do now. I've been able to refine the elevator story of skipping sections due to injury and coming back to Pennsylvania after Katahdin.

Most nights, like tonight, I sleep completely alone in the hostel, shelter or campsite. On the bright side, it's nice to have some personal space and privacy after six months of never being alone. I've been more productive at everything other than hiking.

In the morning I'll start early towards my target 23 miles away and hope for easy trail and high spirits. But if the trail is hard or spirits low, I'll hike anyway.